Why, Oh Why, Does Chris Christie Have To Be A Dallas Cowboys Fan?

Life as a Dallas Cowboys fan can be tough.

There’s the accusations of being a front runner, despite the team’s last meaningful playoff run turning 20 this year. There’s the team, which has specialized in disappointment over the last few seasons, especially late. Oh, and there’s Jerry Jones–easy to love as a fan of the team but the butt of a lot of jokes because, well, he likes to live with his leathery ass out sometimes.

A new unfortunate discovery for a lot of Cowboys fans is that Chris Christie is a fan of the team. Widely despised for his use of Hurricane Sandy relief money and bridge closure scandal, the girthy governor, born in Newark, New Jersey, is a Cowboys fan.

Christie is a regular in the Jerry Jones box and this weekend, when the Cowboys visit the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Divisional Playoffs, Christie will haul his big ass to Wisconsin to watch the Cowboys take on the Packers.

There’s one thing in Christie’s past that every Cowboys fan can identify with. Christie’s not “messing with karma.” This Cowboys fan has listened to countless other fans talk about that. They wear the same clothes, sit in the same place with the same people, because sitting at the end of a packed bar at the stool with bubblegum under the seat somehow has made Tony Romo competent late in the year.

Chris Christie’s repeated appearances in the box has become another joke that Cowboys fans have to listen to. This year had a few already, like DeMarco “Spray Tan” Murray messing with someone else’s wife and Orlando Scandrick’s constant shenanigans with some reality television character named Draya Michelle. Then ESPN’s Outside The Lines happened…

For a while it looked like the “Chris Christie is a Cowboys fan LOL” joke was going to die until something called a Kinky Friedman appeared on Bob Ley’s daily programming. Kinky bee-lined to the gay jokes with a cigar in his mouth, cowboy hat on his head and, completing the extra freedomy outfit, a denim shirt under an ungodly western jacket.

So to recap: A man named Kinky, made Bob Ley blush with gay jokes on Chris Christie and Jerry Jones, who will be reunited this weekend at Lambeau Field.

I’m sure I’ll hear plenty more about Christie, Jerry and Kinky–this is a man’s name in real life–this weekend once the Cowboys and Packers kick off. Hopefully the only embarrassment for Cowboys fans will come from Christie’s seat in the stands.

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